I am lying in bed, taking my time to relax.
I am suddenly aware of a overwhelming presence in my mind, a sense of resonating silence fills my head.
It’s too much for me to bear.
What is this?
I try to work out what is going on but all I know is that I have to escape this.
I get up.
Go for a pee.
Still the experience exists.
I hear cars go by.
Not silence then.
I pull the curtain back a little.
It is stunning outside, blue sky as far as I can see, it almost takes my breath away.
The pressure still exists though.
I need to do something.
I need to escape this thing.
Is this the aftermath of the festival music that blasted me yesterday?
The absence of the sound waves that moved my whole body?
The price to pay for the sensory bombardment that I couldn’t process at the time?
I don’t like it.
I feel like my brain is full of high pitched noise just out of my hearing range.
It leaves some resonance buzz behind.
I try to clear my head by writing.
But it doesn’t work.
Now I recognize anxiety and panic.
I can’t remove this so I will just have to go through it.
I calm myself down but breathing more slowly.
Close my eyes and focus on the ringing.
I imagine the non-sound as a lake and try to bath in it.
I want to feel calm in the lake.
And I do feel more relaxed.
The resonance is still there but feels a bit less overwhelming.
I think I am going to have to wait for this, this whatever it is to pass.
I think it is time to distract myself with a dog-walk in the sunshine.