It is rather early here when I sit down to write something. I have not slept well. I went to bed less than seven hours ago and it feels like I have been tossing and turning all that time I was lying down. This leaves me with a bad headache and what I would describe as a “brain that hasn’t released it’s woolly build-up” feeling.
I don’t know if that makes any sense to others but my theory as to why I get so tired is that over time, my neurons get less efficient at transmitting information. I imagine the gaps in the network get plugged up left over chemicals with conscious use over the day until it gets to a point when I can’t think straight. For my brain to return to better processing capacity, I have to give it a chance to wash away those chemical build-ups by reducing processing usage and going to sleep. I think the washing-away of the rubbish happens all the time, it is just that my body is unable to filter inputs and so spends too much of its capacity dealing with an overload of sensory data. My brain has to work too hard to keep up so that the refreshing process is inadequate and therefore needs more frequent recovery periods (i.e. sleep). Without adequate sleep my brain seems fuzzy.
I expect I could write that in a clearer way if I wasn’t so foggy of thinking.
Certain things are going through my head though.
I was watching the remake of “Footloose” last night and the theme tune by Kenny Logan keeps repeating through my thoughts. It’s a good tune that makes me feel like dancing. The slower interpretation of the Bonny Tyler hit “Looking for a Hero” continues to annoy me though.
I read a news article about a man who was convicted of deliberately infecting other men with HIV. I can’t get my head around why anybody would want to give a life threatening disease to others anyway let alone through such an intimate act as sex. His motivation bothers me.
What happened to my earplug last night? One was there, the other had disappeared. Of course my partner started snoring as soon as I got into bed.
Do I go for a cycle ride now? It is a beautiful day but the joiner is arriving in around an hour’s time and I feel I should be here even though my lodgers organised the appointment and are project managing the work.
There’s a video I need to process. It is time limited for its value in social media but also time consuming on my “free” time.
Can I face looking at GDPR again today? Trying to check the privacy notice sends me to sleep. The responsibility for our company’s compliance lays heavily on me.
When can I start a chargeback on the non-delivered product I ordered? How long is a reasonable time to wait for a company to respond to my letter asking for a refund?
How do I get myself out cycle camping? Is it okay to go nearby just to get used to travelling and practice putting up my bivvy setup in the dark? Surely I could travel the distance to a “dark sky” area to see the stars? How will I get my camera setup on the bike safely? I think small steps and gaining experience is the answer, but why do I find it so scary?
It seems such a simple idea to find “one beautiful thing” each day but where to start? I thought I would use the alphabet and start with “A”. I looked up Algerian Art on the internet thinking I must find something new and interesting but instead got hooked in to Algerian history and the folly of colonial powers (France in this case). France invaded Algeria on an excuse in the middle of the Nineteenth Century and the country has been unstable ever since. How often did the British Empire do that? How much effort does Donna put into MyOBT?
I really must tidy my desk and allow room for my digital music workstation setup. So much music in my head but so much inertia on how to tackle it.
My wife has just appeared. I now have money spending going through my head as well as the demands of the clothes washing basket. I am not sure why I accept her interruptions so much.
The world is waking up I suppose. The beautiful day hasn’t changed but what was a place to be peaceful and think is now one of demands and expectations. Despite having ear-plugs in, I can still hear some noises (yoga in the upstairs room?) and out of the corner of my eye, I get flashes of sunlight as cars go down the road. The flares of sun are increasing in frequency.
The world is waking up, but now I just want to go back to bed.